What’s your ideal Fall weekend? Watching college football on Saturdays, hitting the bars that night, then doing absolutely nothing on Sunday while the NFL plays in the background? I have to be honest - that sounds like a pretty nice weekend. But the weather is turning, leaves are changing, and you want to pop on that new Patagonia and stretch your legs a bit. Maybe your last three instagrams have been of the sunset and you would like to remind your loyal followers that you do indeed have a face, or maybe your s/o is adamant about “getting out of the house.” Either way, TailBus has the solution. This Sunday, TailBus is traveling to Harbes Family Farm on the North Fork of Long Island for some pumpkin picking, corn mazes, and booze.
While some of us might imagine ourselves too old to take on the whimsical world of ponies, pumpkins, and corn - you’re never too old to have fun and everything is a lot more fun when you’ve been boozing. With that in mind, we are going to compare the various parts of our Harbes Family Farm trip: one rating for a sober trip and one rating when you’ve had 3 Sauvignon Blancs on the bus.
It’s a pumpkin patch. It’s pretty much exactly what you would expect at the ol’ punkin patch. Not really my can of corn but it’s great for couples or a family with a young kid. Explore the pumpkin patch, pick your favorite pumpkin, then lug it back to the entrance.
Sober Scale: 4 - Not the most exciting thing in the world but it does provide a ton of photo ops.
Not-so-sober Scale: 6.5 - Rolling massive pumpkins around and challenging your friends to picking up the biggest pumpkin with a buzz does sound like some short-lived fun.
Probably not the ideal place to be drunk. Have you seen Maze Runner? Walls closing in around, wild animals nipping at your heels - and that’s when they’re sober. Could you imagine being drunk in a corn maze? Especially this corn maze? Need clear eyes and a full heart to make it out of this maze alive.
Sober Scale: 7 - If you’re not claustrophobic, mazes are great fun that require you to remain calm and collected.
Drunk Scale: 1 - This is a terrible idea. You would likely end up laying down or just tearing down stalks of corn to try and escape.
Ponies are some of the most underrated animals out there. They provide the enjoyment of horses without the fear of being bucked off of a massive animal. They’re rather friendly creatures and they’re adorable in a strange way. Ponies can definitely be enjoyed drunk and sober but I would have to tip my hat to riding a pony drunk - you cannot compete with the immense power you would feel atop a pony after a couple of mimosas. I always imagine a pony as that mini horse from MTV's Rob & Big.
Sober Scale: 7
Not-so-sober Scale: 9.5
What goes better with wine than more wine?
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